Meaning of Life

How many times I lost myself in it?
just to briefly find it again in the illusion of love

How many times I touched insanity, looking for it?



Why I couldn't just have the same meaning of life as other people: studying, working, buying stuff, marrying, children, vacations, money, success, recognition, beauty, power..approval..

How many times I blamed myself for not understanding it..


How many times I wanted to leave..


to surrender to death..


I thought that maybe time would give me an answer.
I had nothing to lose
But it just got worst

Time took me my naivety..

And everything became suddenly even more unbearable.. 

Seeing everything raw without filters of optimist

Just made realise that I couldn't never understand the meaning of life.. cause there's is none..al least in this world, that humans created to live in..