Are you really living?

There are people that live dead... of so much pain

There are people that live sleeping.. in their ignorance

The Sad Lullaby




Today I am going to tell the story of a little girl
A little girl that born in a dysfunctional family 

A family without verbal or physical affection

No communication

She grew, assisting to her parents' loud arguments, verbal insults and sometimes physical aggressions

Her parents never played with her. She was just allowed to play in her bedroom.

Her father was absent almost all the time
He never took her for a walk, ice cream, nothing.
His only communication was to ask her to go to buy him the newspaper, cigarettes and beer. 

Her questions were never answered by her mother, her opinion never mattered, she never knew where she was going, doing or eating
She was like a purse that her mother would just carry everywhere.. no communication

She was raised to be invisible 
Her happiness or sadness was not important.. the important was to be quiet and behave

Her mistakes were solved with physical punishment
She always learned with beating and shouting


Her mother was bitter, always complaining about the father, describing over and over how her father cheated on her with other women..

She grew hearing her mother making comparisons with her and other children that were always better than her..

During her whole childhood, her mother never spent a day doing something for her to have fun
Instead, the little girl was always in adults programs, hearing boring adult conversations, not allowed to interrupt adults talking.

Her life or feelings were never important. She was never asked how was school or if she had any friends.

All her experiences, feelings were left for her to deal with it alone.
She grew, shy, believing that she was not important, that she should be quiet, invisible.. not bothering people.. that she would have to take in whatever people say or do..


She never heard "I love you". She never felt loved.
Maybe for that reason, during adolescence, she started to look for that love outside home, in a form of boyfriend.
But, when you have a low self-esteem, you don't attract the right relationship...

She became a troubled teenager. But, not even then, her parents interfered.. They didn't try to understand the "why". Instead, she was harder criticised and even ignored. 

She got back on track alone.. she always fought alone, suffering in silence, not bothering nobody. Just like she learned. 
Today, she is still struggling and fighting the obstacles her past created for her.

Fortunately, her cold background, didn't turn her heart cold.. She was always naive. She never understood what was really going on. Or unconscious rejected to understand.  Maybe that was her defence, her protection..



This is the story of a little girl that born in a dysfunctional family and became a dysfunctional child, teenager and adult...

Sometimes, I still see this naive little girl

 The story of this little girl is the normal story of many other children..



The human race

The human race...

that evil race that 

kill each other

that steal from each other

that are always competing with each other

always trying to change and dominate each other

slaves of their jobs and consumerism

polluting and destroying nature

The majority are made of lies.. we never get to really know them


many capable of hurting and raping defenseless babies and children..many times their own..

those and others babies and children, that in the big majority, will became ugly adults...


...Who wants to live in a world like this?






Everything floats in a sea of thoughts...