There is a monster inside me
It rarely comes out
But when it comes
out of anger
I disappear
it is not me
I am not there
He is so ugly and irrational
I never know what is going to happen
But is never good
He is violent
I always push him inside
I don not let him manifest
So sometimes he forces his way out
I know he wants to stop my suffering
Because I am not very good dealing with people
But I hate his ways
He is so raw
And he never tells me what he is going to do
It is scary
I wish I could suffocate him inside me
like I do with my feelings